


Tell Me What You Like

by Thegoddamn_hero



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Jack is a whiny and needy baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 00:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11680029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thegoddamn_hero/pseuds/Thegoddamn_hero
Summary: Jack was in love with himself and it seemed like everyone was in love with him too. You liked Jack, but enough to ruin your career so you decline his advances, much to his disappointment. You have to make a deal with the grown toddler to keep him from killing Helios.





	Tell Me What You Like

**Author's Note:**

> There is the sweet reader on tumblr who fed me this request (along with a bunch of headcanons) last night when I was upset. It's super short and a bit disjointed, but I had fun writing it and I hope you enjoy!

Jack was in love with himself, that everyone knew. Yet, here he was, standing among a group of your co-workers, basking in their praise because his own love wasn't enough. You rolled your eyes as you put your headphones on, trying to drown out the giggling and fake laughter.

You sighed and looked up, the large hand on your shoulder giving you a slight shake. Everyone surrounded your cubicle, wide eyes and jealous leers made you uncomfortable as you looked up at the man himself. You pulled your headphones out and smiled politely. 

"Good afternoon, sir. May I help you with something?" You asked and he laughed, shaking his head.

You took note that his hair didn't move at all with the motion. You felt uncomfortable in your position, the way he was staring down at you was almost predatorial. 

"I want you to come with me to my office. It's important so I came down here to get you myself." He said, pulling your chair out and offering you his hand.

You took it and a few small gasps erupted from your colleagues. You walked with Jack, his hand was huge compared to yours and you could only hold two of his fingers comfortably. There were comments of 'She's so lucky' and 'She's probably dead' whispered among them.

The trip to Jack's office was short, but it felt like forever as you made your way up the stairs to his desk. He let go of your hand and sat down, staring at you as you looked around. You've never been to Jack's office before, but it made it clear just how much the man loved himself. Huge stone statues of his face were to either side of you, huge posters of Jack on his many adventures decorated the wall.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a date with me. You are probably the most modest and humble fan I have on Helios." Jack said and you laughed, his face scrunching up in confusion as you did.

"I'm not a fan, sir. I mean, I think you're a pretty cool guy and you're okay looking, but I'm not one to grovel at your feet like everyone else." That was a lie, you thought Jack was pretty hot, but you were going to feed his already huge ego like everyone else.

"Sweetie, I don't think you know what you're talking about. I'm  _the_  Handsome Jack, the savior of Elpis and the Hero of Pandora. You need to respect me. I can have you airlocked in a second, you should want to be on my good side."

"Threats are cute, but I'm not interested, sir. I want to keep things professional and I don't think going on a date will give me any brownie points from my coworkers." You said, walking out of his office. 

**

"Hello everyone, I'm not sorry going to kill some of you, but I am kind of upset. You can thank the pretty Princess in cubicle F-56 for this because she didn't want to go on a date with me." Jack's voice called out over the intercom.

You groaned and buried your face in your arms as turrets came down from the ceiling, aiming at your coworkers that were now yelling at you. Handsome Jack was honestly the best and worst part of Helios. You gave the turret a thumbs up and leaned against your hand as a show of bullets rained down, the screams and curses didn't phase you. You were just annoyed that Jack was acting like a child about you rejecting him.

Once the turrets stopped you got up, stepping over the bodies that littered the room and headed to Jack's office. If he was going to act like a child, you were going to treat him like a child.

"did you come to apologize?" He asked, sitting up as you entered.

"I've come to make a deal with you."

"What is it?" JAck said, smiling innocently at you as if he hadn't just killed half of your department a few minutes ago.

"Be a good boy, so no killing anyone or calling me out like that and I will tell you one thing I like about you every hour."

Jack smiled and offered his hand to you which you shook. The deal was made.

"Can I have a reason now?" He asked and you sighed.

"I like how you kill people and not care about it." You said and Jack gave you a look, knowing that was easily a backhanded compliment, but he accepted it.

"One hour until your next one. So, come down at 3:42." You said, keeping your watch.

**3:42 PM**

You looked up at Jack, pretending to think about what you were going to say. JAck looked uncomfortable as you sighed and shook your head. He was desperate to hear you say something nice you liked about him.

"I like holding your hand. Your hands are huge compared to mine." You said as Jack leaned over the wall to your cubicle, a new set of employees already settled into the others.

"If you go out with me, you can hold my hands all the time."

**4:40 PM**

"You have two minutes until I can compliment you." You said as Jack came over to you while you made yourself a coffee. 

Jack sighed and leaned against the counter, tapping his toe impatiently and checking his watch every five seconds. You smiled to yourself and took a sip of your coffee, putting it down and sighing. 

"I like your stutter. It's really cute." You said, blushing as Jack stared at you.

"What stutter? I...I don't stutter." He said, looking at you if you as if you were crazy.

You felt a bit dumb for admitting something like that. You really had to pay attention to his talking to notice his stutter.

"I have to go back to work." You said, talking your mug and heading back to your desk.

**5:42 PM**

You walked into Jack's office to drop the day's paperwork off and give him his final compliment.

"I'm surprised you were good all day." You said, placing the paperwork on his desk and walking around it, a small yelp coming from your lips as he pulled you onto his lap.

"Is that the final compliment?"

You shook your head, but the fact that you were now sitting on his lap made you a bit confused and you couldn't think straight.

"You're...uh..special?" You said, looking up at him with a confused look.

"that's it? I'm..uh...special. That was a question too!" Jack said, looking at you for some kind of validation.

"I like your face. You can probably kill someone with your chin. It's so pointy." You said, the words coming out before you could stop them.

"I can't...do that."

"Have you tried?" 

"No...Maybe."

You laughed and tried to stand up, but Jack's hands on your thighs kept you in place. You felt small in his grip, but you also felt lucky to be in that position.

"So, d-do you want to go out with me?" Jack said, his voice lowered and less authoritative. 

You pretend to think about it for a few minutes. You looked at Jack who was watching you intently, but he looked hopeful about your answer.

"Sure, but you have to be good. So, stop shooting up my co-workers when you don't get your way." You said and Jack smiled, giving you a nod before letting you go.

**Author's Note:**

> You can check out updates and other life happenings on my tumblr: [no-godsorheroes](https://no-godsorheroes.tumblr.com)


End file.
